Uncover Your True Self—Free The Real You
The conclusion that you are not ‘enough’ is a creation of the mind. To heal it you have to go beyond the mind.
Do you feel you’re never enough as you are?
That no matter what you do, no matter how ‘successful’ you become in the world, there’s always a sense of something missing—something not quite right?
Maybe you have a picture in your head of an ideal version of yourself—relaxed, confident, uninhibited, adventurous, playful?
But no matter what you do, this ‘enough’ version remains elusive and out of reach.
The notion of ‘not being enough’ affects pretty much everyone…. with two notable exceptions— young children and spiritual adepts.
Young children have not yet left their original, unconditioned state of being. Adepts have found their way back home again.
Children are naturally joyful, loving, playful, creative and curious about life—all qualities of the true self.
For them, the notion of ‘not being enough’ is non-existent.
They don’t judge themselves. They don’t compare themselves with others. They don’t hold grudges. They’re not preoccupied with past and future. Nor do they have a gazillion ideas about how their lives ought to be.
In fact, they don’t think much at all… about anything. And this is precisely why they are so joyful.
Like spiritual adepts, they live in the present moment— in the blissful state of no-mind.
There are, as yet, no limiting thoughts or false beliefs to block out out the light of their true nature.
The Uncaused Joy Of The True Self Was Your First Experience
“Being a person is only part of the truth of who you are.” — Mooji
Uncaused joy was the first thing you knew when you came into this world— before you began to identify with a mind and a body.
Your hands, the room, the sounds, the smells, the physical sensations, your mother’s smiling face were all ONE. There was no concept of me and other—no sense of being separate from the whole.
You were radiant, joyful and perfectly at ease—a pure and undiluted expression of the one true Self.
“Unburdened by the judgments, comparisons and self-limiting conclusions of a conditioned mind, young children hang out in a space of uncaused happiness” — from my book, Awaken The Happy You.
And then you began to develop a thinking habit. You began to pick up the ideas, beliefs and concepts that created a separate sense of identity. Your pure, unconditioned self became clouded over by the judgements, comparisons and ‘not enough-ness’ of a conditioned mind.
When we believe that the minds and bodies we inhabit make up the totality of who we are (as most people do), we inevitably compare ourselves with others and reach the conclusion that we’re not enough.
There will always be people who are smarter, richer, more beautiful, more popular or more successful than ourselves.
The good news, however, is that your true self has never left you. On a soul level, we all know that who we are is far greater than what we’re taking ourselves to be.
This is the true cause of our unrest and why no amount of self-improvement or success in the world will ever be enough. There will always be the sense that something is missing—as indeed there is.
You are taking yourself to be a small, insecure, wanting individual when in fact you are perfect and powerful beyond measure.
“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” — Hafiz
The Light Of The True Self Can Never Be Dimmed
In my book, “ Awaken The Happy You, “ I use the metaphor of a lighthouse to illustrate the relationship between the mind and the true Self.
Here’s a short excerpt from the book:
The Lighthouse
On a clear, starry night, the lighthouse, sitting majestically on its rocky throne, can be seen shining brightly for miles around.
A fine mist begins to roll in from the sea, gently enveloping it. Its powerful beam cuts through the mist with ease and can still be seen from miles away.
As the fog continues to engulf the lighthouse, however, the beam gradually APPEARS to dim. Viewed from afar, it seems to lose some of its brightness, some of its effulgence.
This is only an appearance of course. Behind the thickening curtain of fog, the light inside continues to burn as brightly as ever. It remains unaffected by the shifting conditions.
And even if the fog were to become so thick as to block out the beam altogether, still it would only appear so. Though the surrounding conditions may change, the light itself remains true, remains ever as it is.
And so it is with the true self.
Happiness was your natural state when you entered this world. It is what you first experienced before you learned to identify with a mind and a body— before the fog of a personal identity began to block out the light of your true nature.
Beyond appearances, the light of who you truly are can never dim. It remains eternally as it is.
It is impossible not to be connected to the true self—but it can certainly seem like it.
You Can Never Become ‘Enough’ On The Level Of The Mind
“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” — Albert Einstein
In an attempt to plug this insatiable void of ‘not enough-ness’, people seek fulfillment and recognition on the outside.
They strive to be the fastest athlete, the most successful businessperson or the most accomplished actor or academic.
But even if you become the president of The United States, it will still never be enough—because you are not addressing the real issue.
You are taking this limited body and mind to be the TOTALITY of who you are and looking for solutions on that level alone.
The conclusion that you are not enough is a creation of the mind. To heal it you have to go beyond the mind.
You are suffering from a case of mistaken identity. The small, conditioned self can never feel complete but the true Self is inherently perfect. It cannot be bettered, cannot be improved upon.
Connecting With Your True Self
I invite you to try the following meditation from Mooji, one of my favourite teachers.
What Remains When You Put The Person Aside?
Find a comfortable position, take a few deep breaths and, as you exhale, do so with a sense of release, a sense of letting go.
Become aware of the present moment. Be here now, just as you are.
Now put aside: (spend a minute or so reflecting on each of the following)
- any thoughts of who you are, any ideas you have about yourself.
- any concepts such as male or female, young or old, rich or poor.
- any ideas, any beliefs, any knowledge you have about the world.
- any ideas of good or bad, true or false, right or wrong.
- any self-judgements.
- anything you feel ashamed of.
- all memories of the past — as if you have just arrived on earth in this moment.
- all thoughts about the future.
Simple be present here, now, just as you are. Breathing in. Breathing out.
Without all these thoughts, concepts and beliefs is there still a ‘you’ present?
Without a personal identity, what remains? In a state of ‘no-mind’, who are you?
How does it feel? Expansive? Peaceful? Enough?
Is there anything you’ve put aside that, if you were to take it back, would enhance your experience of this moment?
4 Ways To Reconnect With Your True Self
In truth, it’s impossible to be disconnected from your true self. You can’t not be who you really are. But you can certainly FEEL that you aren’t.
Like the fog surrounding the lighthouse, certain habits, false beliefs and lifestyle choices disconnect us from the wellspring of joy within.
Here are some tips to help you reconnect.
1. Slow Down And Simplify
If you’ve ever visited villages in India, Nepal or other so-called ‘developing countries’ you’ve probably noticed that people there look more joyful, alive, and shiny-eyed than most people in The West.
They live slow, simple lives close to nature and are more in touch with their true selves as a result.
Complexity, busy-ness, sirens, concrete and traffic jams drown out the natural state of peace and contentment within us. They disconnect us from the flow of LIFE inside.
Slow down, declutter, downsize, live within your means, keep possessions to a minimum, spend more time in nature, cut back on commitments and perform tasks slowly and mindfully.
Create more inner space for the light of your being to shine through.
2. Get Out Of Your Head
Another major advantage of living life slowly and simply life is that you don’t have nearly as much to think about. The less time you spend in your head, the more connected you’ll feel with your true self.
Young children are present, alert and passionate because they don’t have a head full of thoughts to distract their attention from the joy and simplicity of the present moment.
The mind can certainly be useful. It is helpful to remember which house you live in or how to cross the road safely without getting run over.
On the other hand, dwelling on your problems and shortcomings, wallowing in doomsday thoughts about the future, or blowing minor issues out of all proportion creates a blanket of fog that crowds out any feelings of peace and calm.
Notice when you are lost in unproductive thinking. STOP for a moment. Take a few mindful breaths. Feel the breeze against your skin, the warmth in the palms of your hands, the pressure of your feet touching the ground. Be aware of the present moment.
Your true self can only be felt when you’re quiet inside.
3. Make Conscious Choices
You know when your choices are in alignment with your true self because they make you feel joyful, expansive and alive. This is the litmus test.
Often, when we make decisions based on fear—doing what we think we SHOULD do or what we believe others expect of us—we end up feeling depleted, disempowered and disconnected with ourselves.
Being clear, honest, direct, authentic and vulnerable is the simplest and cleanest way to live. It helps maintain a clear inner and outer space.
Your true self is always seeking aliveness, adventure, creativity and expansion. Consciously choose people, activities and events that align with these qualities. Let your heart lead the way.
Before you embark on any course of action, ask first, will it make me feel more alive or less alive?
When you are true to yourself, not only you but everyone around you will profit from your presence.
When your own beam is shining brightly you become a beacon and an inspiration for others.
4. Meditate
Everyone should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day. Unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour. — Zen proverb
Meditation is a wonderful tool for bringing you face to face with your true self.
When I offer meditation taster sessions to the public, I’m always amazed how often people experience profound peace the very first time they try it.
How is this possible, you may ask? It’s because peace is your true nature. It’s ever-present and can never leave you.
You’re the one who leaves peace through getting distracted by your overactive mind.
It is like looking at your reflection in a clear pool. If you splash your hand in the water, you get a distorted reflection of your face. When the water is still, the reflection is crystal clear.
When the mind is quiet, the qualities of your true self are revealed—peace, love, aliveness, connection and enough-ness in abundance.
A Tale Of Two Selves
Many people have everything money can buy but still feel empty inside.
The new car, the promotion, the bigger house or the new partner may distract your attention for a short time but it won’t be long before the gnawing sense of incompletion returns —the empty feeling that no amount of “stuff” can ever alleviate.
The empty ache you feel in your soul stems from forgetfulness of your true nature.
You have taken yourself to be this feeble little mind and body and lost sight of the mighty and perfected being you really are.
Your true self cannot be improved upon.
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Originally published at https://www.thinklessandgrowrich.com on October 7, 2019.
